Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I woke up this morning and I realized I hate Tuesdays more than Mondays. I know Monday is the start of the work week and the end of the partying, but at least it's fresh. You get to see friends at work that you haven't seen over the weekend and for just a second you feel like your kinda doing something with your life rather than just scratching your balls at home doing nothing. But Tuesday, all the freshness goes away and u realize that you don't even like your job and if you didn't have bills to pay you probably wouldn't show up. If you haven't noticed this is just one of my vent sessions that I need to do every now and then to stay sane. Have you ever felt STUCK not in any particular place or thing, just STUCK and it feels like there is no way out. That feeling comes over me quite often. I start to think about my life and I wonder, "Why don't I have fun anymore?" It's not like a don't try, but it doesn't feel real like it used to. I fuck around at work ( still meet my quotas though lol) I do music on the side and I try to have fun on the weekend by clubbin or whuteva. Maybe I'm supposed to be going through a phase right now because I can't get out of this STUCK feeling. Even when I fuck around, work still sucks. I haven't been inspired to even make music lately and clubbin on the weekends now feels more like a waste of time and money than anything else. My female situation doesn't help much either, because there isn't one. It feels so suffocating at times. I long for the days when none of this shit mattered. Back then it was like my conscious was completely separated from all of it. I don't know how I did it to be honest, but I wish I did. I'll probably get over this, it's just really starting to worry me because I'm seeing less and less of a point to go outside anymore.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
I'm glad to say I'm alive during this historical time. When I can say I've seen a white woman and a black man compete to become the democratic candidate for this year's election. I had to really take it in. Maybe the world is actually changing for the better, I'm too skeptical to believe just yet, but I can't front this is exciting. So let's march into the future....Obama's victory speech...beautiful